Safety Planning Guide for LGBTIQA+ People

A compassionate, practical guide to staying safe in relationships, homes, and systems that do not always protect us

Why Safety Planning Matters for Queer People

LGBTIQA+ people face distinct risks when it comes to family violence, intimate partner abuse, and systemic harm. Our identities are often used against us. The systems meant to protect us, like police, hospitals, housing services, immigration, and mainstream domestic violence programs, may misrecognise, criminalise, or exclude us.

This guide was created for people living in that complexity. It is for anyone wondering if what they are experiencing “counts” as violence, and for those who know they are unsafe but do not know what to do next.

You will not be told to leave. You will not be pushed to disclose or report. This guide offers options. It helps you build safety in the ways that make the most sense for your life.

Planning for safety does not have to be dramatic or final. You are allowed to make small, steady moves. Whether you are staying, leaving, waiting, or unsure, you deserve safety on your terms.

This guide is rooted in both sector best practice and lived experience. It draws from trauma-informed care, queer community knowledge, and a deep belief that safety is not something you must earn, it is something you deserve.

What Safety Really Means

Safety is not just the absence of violence. It is the presence of choice, voice, and freedom.

Safety can look like:

• Having control over your time, space, and body

• Being able to say no without punishment

• Being recognised in your identity

• Keeping your pets, belongings, and medication

• Living in housing that feels stable

• Speaking without fear of being shut down

You get to define what safety means to you. You are allowed to build plans that reflect your needs and priorities.

What Safety Planning Is (and Is Not)

Safety planning is thinking ahead to reduce harm and increase your physical, emotional, and psychological wellbeing. It is often used when someone is preparing to leave a violent relationship, but it is equally valuable when staying.

Safety planning is not:

• A sign of failure

• Only for people in obvious danger

• A commitment to leave or report

• Something you must get right the first time

Instead, it is:

• A harm-reduction tool

• A way to create more options

• An act of autonomy

• A form of quiet resistance

Your safety plan belongs to you.

If You Are Staying in the Relationship or Household

You may not want to leave. You may not be able to. You may love the person, rely on them, or be trying to survive day by day. These are not excuses. They are valid circumstances.

If you are staying:

• Identify rooms in your home that feel safer. Avoid areas without exits or where weapons may be present, like kitchens or bathrooms.

• Move toward an exit or neutral space when tension rises. Stay seated if the other person is standing, or slow your breathing to reduce escalation.

• Create a code word, phrase, or emoji to alert a friend or support person if you are in danger.

• Collect important documents gradually, including ID, medical records, prescriptions, bank cards, and phone chargers. Keep them hidden or with someone you trust.

• Store emergency medication or gender-affirming care outside the home if possible.

• Keep a list of support contacts written down or saved somewhere private and secure.

• Consider preparing a go-bag with essentials and hiding it in a locker, friend’s house, or car.

You are not failing by staying. You are surviving.

If You Are Preparing to Leave

Leaving is often one of the most dangerous times. People who use violence may escalate when they sense a loss of control. Planning ahead can increase safety.

If you are preparing to leave:

• Do not tell the person unless you are completely sure it is safe. Calm conversations can escalate quickly.

• Identify one or two trusted people to support you. Ask them to be on standby or check in around your exit.

• Secure a place to go. This might be a friend’s home, a crisis service, or temporary accommodation.

• Pack a go-bag. Include ID, cash, medication, clothing, chargers, toiletries, and documents that confirm your address or identity.

• Change all passwords and PINs. Update email, banking, health, and social accounts. Set up two-factor authentication.

• Turn off location sharing on phones and apps. Ask a support service for help if you suspect surveillance or tracking.

• Think through what happens next. This might include housing support, Centrelink, workplace safety planning, or accessing health care.

You do not need to leave perfectly. You just need to get to safety.

Involving Police or Legal Systems

For some people, police involvement can offer protection through intervention orders or documentation. For others, it increases danger or discrimination.

Police may help by:

• Issuing safety notices or orders

• Recording incidents for legal purposes

• Connecting you to immediate services

Police may also cause harm by:

• Arresting the wrong person

• Misgendering you or invalidating your relationship

• Escalating the situation or siding with the more “credible” person

• Creating legal or immigration risk

If you call the police:

• Ask for a support person to be present

• Request a queer liaison officer if available

• Document your interactions if safe to do so

• Decide in advance when and why you would call them

This is your decision. You do not owe any system your story.

Community-Based Safety Planning

If you do not want to involve services, you can still create safety through trusted community.

You might choose to:

• Build a small pod of friends, housemates, or colleagues who check in regularly

• Talk to neighbours who can respond or intervene

• Share copies of your ID, plan, or documents with a trusted person

• Work with a queer therapist or peer support worker to co-create a plan

• Connect with grassroots collectives that specialise in queer crisis response

You are not meant to do this alone. Safety grows through connection.

Digital Safety and Privacy

Technology can be both a tool and a risk. Take steps to protect your privacy.

• Turn off location tracking in apps, settings, and shared services

• Use private browsing or regularly clear your history

• Avoid shared logins and remove linked recovery contacts

• Set up a new email for sensitive matters with strong, unique passwords

• Use antivirus or anti-stalkerware tools if you suspect your device is being monitored

Digital safety is part of your overall wellbeing. You have the right to protect your information.

If Others Depend on You

If you care for pets, children, or disabled loved ones, your safety plan may need to include them.

• Arrange pet fostering if you need to leave

• Identify childcare options or legal contacts for parental safety

• Talk with your support network about shared responsibilities during transition

• Create parallel safety plans that protect your dependents as you protect yourself

Keeping others safe is not your sole burden. It can be shared.

You Can Start Today

Your safety plan does not have to be long, detailed, or final. It can begin with a single number written down, a bag packed quietly, or a message sent to a trusted friend.

Every action that increases your options is a form of safety planning. It all counts.

Support Services

You do not have to do this alone. You do not have to wait for a crisis.

• Rainbow DV Helpline (24/7): 1800 497 212

• 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

• QLife (3pm to midnight): 1800 184 527

• Local LGBTIQA+ mental health, health, or domestic violence organisations

• A queer-affirming GP, therapist, case worker, or peer support person

There is support. There are options. You are allowed to ask for help.